He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have already put on my inside pants.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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