so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
