is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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