I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
