PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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