do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
