I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
