Do you still have your period?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
