Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Brb crying the tears of my youth
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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