I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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