I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
