With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
