a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
