My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
