How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
