Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
