i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
