...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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