Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
