She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
whose parrot is this?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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