How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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