bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
