I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
