My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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