Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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