Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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