This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
