Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
