I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
