After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
