**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
