he thought i was a dude.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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