It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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