Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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