Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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