Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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