She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
