1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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