i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
