She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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