Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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