I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
