If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
