shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
