I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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