Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
