I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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