what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
