he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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