He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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