Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
