we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
