well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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